


100 Kinks of Darkpilot, #22 -- Break up/Make up sex

by idrilhadhafang



Series: 100 Kinks of Darkpilot [22]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst With A Bittersweet Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Break up sex, M/M, Make up sex, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Redeemed Ben Solo, Reunion Sex, Time Skips, post-Star Wars Episode IX
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 00:11:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11001876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: A separation, and a reunion.





	100 Kinks of Darkpilot, #22 -- Break up/Make up sex

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author's Notes: Hope you like it. I may be working from a loose definition of break-up sex and make-up sex, but I hope you like it nonetheless.

In truth, Ben doesn’t know if he’s coming back from this mission to the Jedi Temple, from the other missions that Snoke has set out for him. He wishes he could say. He wants to see Poe again, but he doesn't know what will happen to them both. His life trying to carry out Snoke’s vision isn’t going to be an easy one.

But in the meantime, even as he falls into the rhythms of their lovemaking possibly for the last time, he makes sure to burn Poe’s features into his memory. The shape of his face, the taste of his lips, the softness of his lower body, the scars on his skin from missions. He almost wants to say to-the-Corellian-hells-with- _ ren  _ and take Poe with him, where they can both make the galaxy better, but he doesn't know if it’s possible. 

Even as he enters Poe, this time, he memorizes how tight and hot Poe is around him, how faithful. He memorizes how Poe’s body is hot against his, slick with sweat, he memorizes how Poe sounds when he gasps and moans, how he sounds when he says Ben’s name, his voice like music, the sweetest music that Ben could hear. 

“No matter what happens,” Ben says, “I’ll never stop loving you, Poe. Never.”

Poe looks up at him, and his face is earnest. “I know,” he says. “I’ve always known.”

Ben memorizes it, all of it, because he doesn’t know if he’ll see Poe again. And he knows that no matter what happens, he will always love Poe. Always. 

 

***

The first time they make love in six years, it’s slow, it’s tentative, shy, nothing like the need that gripped them both when they made love on Milara. This intimacy is no stranger to them both, and yet it is, in every way that matters. They learn the other’s body again, the zones that simply make the other feel good, the tiny details that just add history and complexity to both of them. 

Poe runs his hand along the line of the scar that Jaina gave him, a token of that terrible day on Starkiller Base. It’s faded, but he’ll still carry it for the rest of his life. It’s just a story of their lives, something that they’ll always carry with them. He isn’t repulsed by it, however; instead, he kisses along his husband’s scar, a token of all the pain everyone went through and what they lost and found along the way. He kisses along the nicks on his husband’s shoulder as well, where Jaina and Finn both got him in their duel, where his duel with Jaina showed that there was still some Ben Solo in him underneath the twisted mess called Kylo Ren. 

Ben is tentative in terms of accepting the touches, but he does his best to reciprocate, reaching up to touch Poe’s face, the scar that Poe himself carries. He reaches up and places his lips gently against the scar that Poe carries as a quiet apology, a quiet plea for forgiveness. They fall into that pattern, seeking out scars on the other’s body, little details about them -- and Poe can’t help but notice how much thinner his husband is, as if he’s deprived himself too much -- that they know best throughout their short marriage. A marriage that is just beginning to be patched. The damage is there, but the wonderful part is that it’s just starting to be patched. Just starting to heal, just starting to mend. 

Ben doesn't reach out to him even as they make love, slowly, their bodies moving together in sync with the other. He doesn’t reach over their link, he doesn't reach inside Poe’s mind. They’re both not ready for that yet. Maybe one day they will be. 

Poe can still feel inklings, snippets, over their bond. He can feel Ben’s guilt, his shock at the realization of what he was truly doing, Ben’s residual love for him -- because Ben Solo has loved him all along. 

And after all this time, Poe thinks, he’s loved him too. 

They move throughout the night, away from the others, relearning the other’s bodies after six years and apologizing, if only through touch, for everything that’s happened. 


End file.
